The Odd Life of Timothy Green

This is a movie that I have been waiting to see. It is about an infertile couple who become parents through a miracle! Of course I want to see it. Maybe I'll have time this weekend. I love it when they ask her where he came from. The mom says, "It was all very sudden...and kinda of miraculous." That is how adoption is.

Random Photos

 Daddy is my favorite person ever!!!

 I'm eating peas out of the garden.

 I'll just stir this big mudhole up at the playground. You are the best momma for letting me in it.

 It's so hot I'm going for a drink. (I barely stopped him in time)

 Vacuuming time with the attachment. I do it just like mommy.

 I still like my headphones.

 I feel safer with my blankie near me still.

I'll just take that drink thank you very much.

Evan is saying many words clearly now. Some of our favorites are "thank you" and "mom pop." I guess he gets told that a lot.

Preparing for Adoption

A question I get asked ALL the time from people that are just starting the process of adoption or who are paper ready is "What did you do while waiting? How did you prepare?"

Since we did domestic infant adoption my answers to this question are very different than if someone was doing foster care or international adoption. Here is a list that we did to prepare because you have no control over waiting time.

1. Save money. Save as much as you can because as much as you have will never be as much as you really need.

2. Tell your employer that you are planning on adopting and that you will give them information when you get chosen. They don't need to ask every month about how it's going but they do need to be prepared for when you have the call and need to take maternity/paternity leave.

3. Find out as much as you can about adoption. Talk to everyone you know. Try to read positive books, blogs, or articles.

4. Take charge of your infertility feelings and let go of some of that power. Infertility will always suck but don't let it take over how you will parent. Adopting after infertility is a healing process but you can get stuck on feeling guilty that you made it out of the "club."

5. Prepare a baby room if you can. We just bought basic things like pack n' play, carseat and general newborn clothes. I also bought a few bottles and stuff I thought I would need. Some people need to prepare before baby to feel like they are nesting while others it is too painful. We went the middle ground and just got things ready if we were called in the middle of the night to pick up a baby.

6. Pray for birthmothers. Pray like you haven't prayed before. Pray that they will have peace come as they make a decision and pray that they can find the parents that they need for their child.

7. Give up your expectations of what your child will be like. Genetically your child will come with gifts that you will get to discover. How wonderful to let nature discover all the talents your child will have! Embrace the differences in your child and rejoice in nurturing their abilities.

8. Give up your expectations of what your pregnancy would look like. I would have loved to have eaten only organic food and never touched a soda but guess what, I wasn't the one pregnant and neither will you be. You have no control over what the birthmother is doing while pregnant. I'm so grateful that Evan had a wonderful first mom that took care of him in the womb. She was great at it.

9. Love your child's birthmom and birthdad. They might not make choices you agree with, they might not be what you expected, or they might not be there at all. They deserve your unconditional love anyway. Talk about the birthparents in positive terms in front of your child. Don't give details away to too many people. This is your child's story. Do you want a second cousin to know more than your child? What if your child wants to keep some of their story private and you have already told everyone? What if they find out something before they are ready to handle it? Be prepared and thoughtful when it comes to details.

10. Don't lose focus on your main goal. That you want to be a parent. While you are waiting educate others about adoption, open adoption, multiracial families, etc.

This journey of yours can be long. It can be heartbreaking and full of crazy situations. It will be hard but so worth it. Hang in there everyone!

Growing up too fast

 I'm having a difficult time with Evan growing up. I've been packing away clothes and donating them to family or friends. It was very bittersweet. I actually cried over an outfit which I thought I would never do because clothes aren't that important too me. Evan's original blankies are threadbare and faded from the frequent washings that I had replaced them with a new package. It was hard packing those away. Will I ever have another newborn to wrap up? Or will it be an older child from a different country? Or will we be foster parents? Who knows the next direction to build our family will turn. The only thing we know for sure is it will be adoption.

This little man is so special and fun. I love this stage that he is at and we go everywhere together.

Here is a sweet song by Mindy Gledhill about little boys. I just love it.

"Little boy, when you speak
I can't help but kiss your cheeks
I love the way you grab my hands
And tell me all about your plans"

Loving Kitties

Evan loves kitties. Too bad it is just one sided most of the time. Here is a play by play of him finding kitties. We literally just pulled up to the house.

 I'm going to get a kitty.

 They don't know I squeeze extra tight yet.

 Got one!

 I'm not letting this one go.

 This kitty is getting really slippery.

 Grandma better teach me how to hold it better.

Come on out kitty, I promise to be nice and feed ya!

I have a few videos of Evan with the kitties. I would like to think that how he picked them up in the video wasn't typical but for the next few days he kept torturing and laughing at those kitties. Finally one scratched him and he was a lot nicer. It was one of those lessons he had to learn the hard way.

I'm always having a good time!

 I'm a big boy on my new ride.

 Uh oh! How do I do this?

 It's steady now, thank goodness.

 Spoke too soon!

 Let's paint the cement with water!

 How about I just sit with this mop at the family reunion on this toddler swing?

 Mommy, I soak my toast with juice.

Squishy and good like I love.

How about you show all these nice people how I love my toast and Grandma's jam with extra juice on it. 

What Evan picked out at the DI

 Almost every Friday I take Evan to the DI. It is the store where we practice "holding mommy's hand" and "stay close to mommy." It is the best store for that because no one looks at you weird if you abandon your cart for misbehaving toddlers and if your child throws merchandise it is no big deal. I let Evan find something in the toy section most of the time and enjoy searching through the toys myself. People that know me well know how much I love kid toys and books. I have been buying them before I even had a kid. For awhile I have been searching for a toy vacuum because Evan loves them when we go to somebodies house and they have one. To our amazement there were 3 at the local DI and this is the one he chose. It wasn't the tallest or in the best shape but it had the best "vacuum" sound and he carried it through the whole store. He had a small tantrum when we had to pay for it but let me put him in the cart while he held it to the car. In the car he held it while we drove to the park for lunch. The above picture is his joyous face when he woke up from his nap and rediscovered it. The below picture is him turning it on to "vacuum." (As a side note: those aren't bruises on his feet, they are his sandal tan. He is incredibly dark there because it is the spot I forget to put sunblock on)